I’m withdrawing, I don’t even feel it anymore… no pain… no sadness, just complete ambivalence. It’s almost as if I am immune to it, to everything. I want to escape, to go somewhere new. TO BE NEW… but I can’t. I’m stuck here, broken, unhappy… saddened. Should I tell her that my world is caving in without her? Or will that only pacify her. I don’t even know how to be angry anymore. I feel dead to all of this. Dead to myself, to the world, to each identity I held dear… I only feel dead. I cant even find the words to say. To express this emptiness, cause that’s all it is… is just a hollowness inside of me. I’m just a shell, that desires to be happy, but cannot even find it within myself to become happy. I’ve lost whatever it was that I claimed to be. I almost want to delete myspace and facebook because it is part of that identity, that collegiate filter through which I have expressed myself. And now I’m sitting here crying. Whats wrong with me? Why do I feel so hollow??
